She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize