These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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