Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
