i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
