Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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