is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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