Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
