I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
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you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
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Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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