you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
