just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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