'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
