How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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