We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize