I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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