I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
BRING THE BAGELS
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
