we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
