i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
