Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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