if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize