I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Damn victory sex feels great
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
