Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
dude. I can hear the air.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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