remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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