Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
