Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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