the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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