Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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