"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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