my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
