we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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