Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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