alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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