OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
