3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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