you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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