i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
