i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
