I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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