Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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