I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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