I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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