if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize