Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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