could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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