I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
