I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
