The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize