when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
