Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
