grandma shit on top of the toilet
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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