who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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