yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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