Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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