she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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