Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
why is half of my head shaved?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
