So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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