I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
