physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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