From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
