I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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