After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
vagina is talking i cant
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
