Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
