i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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