She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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