i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
